For the first time last week, I feel like Finn is actually smiling at me. Of course he has been smiling for a few weeks now but at random times and he is usually looking at something off in the distance. Now when he is happy and I talk to him or tickle him he is actually smiling. Enjoy the video!
I also want to share something that I'm not really sharing for anyone but myself. My baby is super cranky in the evenings. He has nights that he just cries and freaks out for hours. I feed him, change is diaper, bath him, rock him, hold him, put him down, pick him up, cool him off, warm him up, sing, dance, and basically stand on my head to get him to stop crying and sometimes there is just nothing you can do. I guess the medical community might call this "colic" even though no one knows a cure or why. I just want to share this because its hard to go anywhere at night or take phone calls when your child is screaming. I feel like many of my friends think I have abandoned them and that's not true. I also think the last two months have been challenging for my ego as a new mother. When your child is unhappy and you can't make him happy you feel helpless but mostly you feel like your doing something wrong. I'm the Mom, I'm supposed to have all the answers right! I think I have let myself feel judged by others even if in reality, they aren't judging me at all. If they are, they probably have no kids. I share this now because I have finally gotten to the point where hours of an unhappy Finn doesn't bother me so much. I know that I'm doing the best that I can. I know that this time will pass. I know that someday I'll be able to go somewhere without my child crying. I know that my friends will understand someday when they have kids. I know that I'm a great Mom and it isn't my fault if my child is opinionated. Hopefully it means he's really smart! Although it is challenging, I'm also trying not to wish this time away. I want to enjoy every moment, even if hes crying. Someday, when I'm able to go anywhere I want and do anything I want again, I'll miss my baby Finn. Ok, just wanted to get that off my chest.
PS- To the people at the grocery store: Yes, I know my child is screaming but my family still has to eat :)
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10 comments:
I completely understand how you feel!!! Sometimes being a Mom is so hard, and when your baby is crying for what seems like no reason, you feel like you are failing. At least I know I do. But what I've learned from Jhonen, is this too shall pass, and they grow so fast, that what is so challenging now, won't even be an issue in a couple of months. PS- Opinionated babies are the most intelligent of all!! You rock Mommy, and do what you gotta do for you and little Finn!! :)
Okay, while I don't completely understand how you feel right now, I feel like I can imagine it pretty well (and may be experiencing in a few months myself!). I am so sorry for the stress. I know you are doing an awesome job though and that sweet Finn loves you so much. On behalf of other soon-to-b-mothers, thanks for your honesty! Hang in there.
The only thing I can't figure out is, how in the world did you and Cade end up with an opinionated child?! (:
Love you.
Isaac went through the same phase until about 10 or 11 weeks. The first time it happened I thought he was sick or something, but the next day he was fine, until that evening when it started up again. I was sure the neighbors were going to call CPS on us or something, but there was nothing we could do! But one night he just stopped, and has been OK ever since. Hang in there!!
Sarah
Isaac went through the same phase until about 10 or 11 weeks. The first time it happened I thought he was sick or something, but the next day he was fine, until that evening when it started up again. I was sure the neighbors were going to call CPS on us or something, but there was nothing we could do! But one night he just stopped, and has been OK ever since. Hang in there!!
Sarah
You are a great mom!! Don't waste one more second agonizing over what other people think. Like you said, they are probably not even thinking it! You will get through it. Love the video! Its so fun to see Finn going through the same stages as Dean. We need to get together! (Ya know, when you feel like getting out. I don't feel like getting out at this point either! I've become a hermit!)
I remember very long evenings for a few weeks going through everything l could think of to soothe Matthew. Also, I now grocery shop after Matthew is down for the night and Billy stays home for some time to himself. I get some time to myself and no crying child ( Matthew STILL hates shopping carts)
Finn's smile is precious!!
Great smile!
I had one "easy" baby and one very very difficult baby. Hang in there. Sometimes there is nothing you can do "right" except make sure he knows he's loved. It can be so hard. Hang in there.
He is so so sweet, Jamie!
And I, too, can totally relate! Emma did the same thing. It's the worst feeling as a mother to know they are upset, yet not be able to make it better. Like the other mommies said, it does get easier & it will go away. Those were some very hard days {and nights!}...hang in there! I know you are doing a great job!! One of the biggest lessons I've learned as a mom so far is to trust your instincts and know that doing that is the best thing for your baby.
{You might try Gripe Water, if you haven't already...it seemed to be the only thing that would give us relief some nights!}
Jamie, I think you are a fabulous mother and I can't tell that it bothers you at all! I think you are handling it great and all I see is a mother who loves her little guy and just wants him to be happy...and he's just trying to figure out this crazy place! I am unhappy when my tummy hurts too! He is precious!!
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